I’m a Boomer with no mortgage and good super. Why do I feel so guilty?

I’m a Boomer. I have a paid-off home and a good amount in superannuation. I know I’m privileged, and I’m grateful, but also embarrassed. Should I be? I don’t live an extravagant life, but I also don’t deny myself small enjoyments. I don’t have children, but I do help others financially. I have mixed feelings about my wealth. I like having it, but also try to pretend I don’t have it out of fear of others’ judgement.

This is a conversation I’ve had with several people – those who were born into above-average levels of wealth, who came into large amounts of wealth suddenly, or who have had more success than they’ve been able to fully accept.

Here’s the short answer: I don’t think there is much value in being embarrassed for having wealth. Let me explain why. I’ll start with a short personal story. Years ago, I wanted to hire some household help – but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Why couldn’t I do this thing I had every rational reason to do? I did the mindset work. I peeled back the layers – I went beyond the layers of “this feels like a waste of money” and “I could just do it myself” and eventually, I found guilt. Guilt that I could afford something my parents hadn’t been able to during my childhood.

I grew up watching my mum wake up early to get us fed and ready for school, pack our lunches, leave for work and then come home and start making dinner. My life wasn’t nearly as busy as hers – how could I allow myself to hire help?

Eventually, I saw the futility of it. There was no amount of me denying myself something in solidarity with her struggle that would make her life easier – then or now. In fact, all I was doing was choosing to not fully enjoy and live the gifts I’d been given. Wasn’t that a waste?

The only response that makes sense to any privilege is gratitude.

I don’t mean the “write three things you’re grateful for” lip-service kind of gratitude. I mean real heartfelt gratitude – the kind that humbles you; where you see the fullness of this immense gift you’ve been given that you cannot explain purely through your own hard work.

This changes how you relate to your privilege and how you choose to use it.

When you’re stuck in embarrassment, shame or guilt, you might find yourself denying or avoiding your privilege in some way because you cannot bring yourself to fully accept it. You might pretend you don’t have it. Or you might overcompensate – work extra hard, deny yourself the ability to use your privilege out of solidarity for those who don’t have it.

The other common response I see is defensiveness. Here, you might feel the need t