Despite our pain, the Jewish community refuses to wallow in anger

Jewish law and custom approach mourning in a highly prescriptive and regimented way. There is sense to this. When one is bereaved and unsure where to turn and what to do, it is comforting to have the answers laid out for you. There are three phases of mourning – seven days, 30 days and the remainder of the year, during which the mourners transition from intensely confronting their grief to gradually resuming everyday activities and, finally, ceasing their mourning altogether and returning to a full and productive life.

This process begins with focusing on oneself and one’s mental state through introspection to fully confront the loss and the feelings it naturally produces, to eventually looking outward again, performing righteous deeds in memory of the dead and encouraging others to do so. We heal ourselves, but we do not wallow or descend into spirals of anger and pain. When the time is right, we return to trying to heal our world.

This is where the Jewish community is this weekend, on the six-month anniversary of the act of terror that ripped through scores of bodies, ending the lives of 15, and ripped apart the notions that all Australians are equally free to practise their faith, gather in peace and live without fear of violence from fellow Australians.

We, as a community, looked inward in those early days when all was pain and chaos. We had to. We had to soothe the widows, ease family fears of financial ruin, comfort the wounded in intensive care units and embrace the families of the dead so tightly that they understood they would never be alone.

But then we began to look at our community, our society, our nation. Terrorism seeks to rattle our self-confidence as a country and a civilisation, makes us point the finger in the wrong places, makes us paranoid and suspicious, inward-looking and frightened. The Jewish community was never going to allow this to happen to us. As NSW Multiculturalism Minister Steve Kamper said: “All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around the grieving Jewish community. Instead, they wrapped their arms around us.”

And so, initiatives were launched like the One Mitzvah campaign, encouraging all Australians to do even a solitary act of kindness like visiting the sick or elderly, donating to charity or bringing a meal to the hungry. Creative output was increased. Artists such as Nina Sanadze turned the thousands of decaying flower bunches left at the Bondi Pavilion memorial into a permanent piece of art to elevate and remind. Nikki Goldstein, who had been co-writing a book with the slain organiser of Channukah by the Sea, Ra