The World Cup is not supposed to be enjoyed during the day

In a previous life as a freelance writer, I was so desperate for work that I would basically take any job on offer, which is how I ended up writing advertising slogans for a large hospitality group. Whenever they wanted to promote an upcoming sporting event with whatever food and drink deals they had on offer, I was the man they’d call. Mostly it was stuff like, “Mate of Origin: Two-for-one schooners before kick-off!” or “Fries and tries: $5 chips when your team scores!”

Historically, these kinds of promo-puns have been exclusively reserved for Australia’s major sporting codes – AFL and rugby league – and never the beautiful game. Until now.

The 2026 FIFA World Cup is under way, jointly hosted by three North American countries (the USA, Mexico and Canada), which means time zone-friendly air times for Australians. According to my data analysis, about 69 per cent of all live matches will air between 6am and 4.30pm AEST, with most of the group stage matches occurring during the day.

My local pub is already capitalising on this, running a “Hugs and Jugs” promotion for the World Cup. It’s hard to tell exactly what’s on offer based on the poster, which is just a bunch of people hugging, but I presume it’s something to do with cheap jugs. I only know this because a friend of mine who hates football but loves discounts sent me a photo of it along with the words: Could be a fun day out?

Perhaps it could be, yes, but the World Cup isn’t about a fun day out, and it never has been.

The World Cup is about torturous late nights and early mornings. It’s about setting your alarm for 1.15am, hearing it go off, wondering if it’s worth it, before deciding you absolutely have to get up because what kind of football fan would you be if you missed Slovenia v Ivory Coast?

This World Cup is already at risk of not feeling special given the tournament has expanded to 48 teams, up from 32, which basically made it impossible not to qualify (unless, of course, you are Italian)! But now we have to live with the reality that so many of the games are taking place during the workday.

Is there a more depressing thought than being in a 10am meeting on a Tuesday, listening to a colleague discuss how AI can streamline efficiency (I assume this is what most meetings are about now), when you could be watching Norway v Senegal which kicks off at, you guessed it, 10am?

We already got a taste of just how tragic this workplace clash could be when the Socceroos started their World Cup campaign with a famous victory against Turkey last weekend.

Luckily kick-off was 2pm on a Sunday, but ima