A YOUNG WOMAN’S DILEMMA

DAR ES SALAAM: GREETINGS everyone. I’m Miss D and I’m completely exhausted with my life right now. I’m forced to choose between what my parents taught me and what my boyfriend of one year is demanding. You see, I was raised by very strict, conservative parents. They taught me good manners, how to behave well like a lady – dress appropriately, be of good cheer especially with guests and people around you and be kind and respectful to all people whether rich, poor, young or old. As I passed the adolescence phase to adulthood, my mother made sure that I understood why I should be careful with men. Time and time again she told me to beware of men with bad intentions as they could easily ruin my future. My mother always emphasised the importance of keeping my body pure. She taught me that the body is the temple of God and should be honoured and preserved until marriage. However, my boyfriend has recently begun complaining that we have been together for a year and in his view, it is unfair that we have not become intimate. He argues that although our love for each other is obvious, a man feels truly loved when the woman he loves expresses that love by giving herself to him physically. He also insists that my beliefs and actions are outdated, claiming that no one follows such principles anymore. His comments have left me feeling confused and disappointed. While I value the convictions I was raised with, I am troubled by the pressure he is placing on me and by his apparent lack of respect for my deeply held beliefs. I had high expectations that my boyfriend will eventually be my husband, because he is a good person and I do love him. To be very sincere, from what I hear from my friends regarding the behaviour of young men today, my boyfriend stands out as understanding and quite respectful. He is kind, he makes me laugh, he tells me his personal issues and we have managed to connect emotionally. However, the more I try to appreciate his good qualities, the more my instincts tell me to be careful. Just the other day I saw something on social media purporting to the fact that men don’t marry virgins anymore. They want women with experience. This felt like rubbing salt to an already sore, painful wound. So, I decided to consult my mother because she knows my boyfriend very well. ALSO READ: The Dilemma of Deforestation: Can TZ balance economic growth and environmental conservation? I knew she would remind me about what she has been telling me all these years- but I still decided to give it a try. To my surprise, my mother understood my situation well. She avoided being judgmental and we finally managed to come up with four scenarios- with my mother telling me to ruminate on them for a while before making any decision. Scenario 1: What if I sleep with my boyfriend and, once he has satisfied his physical desires, he loses interest and ends the relationship because he has already gotten what he wanted? Scenario 2: What if I sleep with him and he stays in the relationship, but his commitment slows down? He may no longer feel any urgency to move toward marriage because he can continue enjoying physical intimacy without making a long-term commitment. Scenario 3: What if I stand firm and choose not to sleep with him, and he becomes frustrated and decides to end the relationship? I may lose someone who could have been a good husband and spend the rest of my life wondering if I made the wrong decision. Scenario 4: What if I stand firm and choose not to sleep with him, yet he remains committed to the relationship and continues pursuing a future together? This would seem to be the best outcome, but how likely is it to happen? Life! My fellow young ladies, life is not a straight line. Even the best-laid plans can sometimes fail, and unexpected challenges often arise along the way. I chose to remain faithful to my beliefs while also honouring my mother’s expectations and heartfelt advice. Despite the pressure from my boyfriend, I have stood firm in my decision and have not slept with him. I trust that as long as my mind is positively inclined, faith, patience and perseverance will guide me toward the right path, and perhaps even open doors to more blessings and a happy life. The post A YOUNG WOMAN’S DILEMMA first appeared on Daily News . The post A YOUNG WOMAN’S DILEMMA appeared first on Daily News .