BUSINESS REFLECTION: After the Bell: Jamie Oliver, keep the intrusive marketing out of my WhatsApp account

WhatsApp is one of the few things in this life with virtually no drawbacks, but Jamie Oliver and other marketing intrusions have ruined that. Mercifully, certain young people in California have provided some relief.

In my darker moments, when I’m not wondering about what would happen if we really did have a national blackout (not quite apocalyptic), or if one of our big banks were hit in a cyberattack, meaning no one could get their money (literally: Revelations…), I wonder about the other service that would render life impossible if it were to fail.

I’m obviously not really talking about the City of Joburg. Or about Safa’s travel office.

Facebook didn’t start it, of course. Like so many things that have revolutionised our lives in the past 20 years, it came from a small group of young people in California who were just messing around.

And, like that small group of people who started something that turned out to be genuinely new, they made more than generational money from it. They sold it to Meta for $19-billion (yes, that’s billion).

Now, I don’t think I know a single South African who doesn’t use it in some way.

But Meta’s problem is that they have not been able to monetise it. They have this huge asset but if they were to charge users for it, it would collapse overnight. People would go to the competitors like Telegram or Signal in a heartbeat.

Over the past few years the number of cold calls I get has become simply maddening.

It’s now just a device for people to bother me with their stupid AI voices and the insanity of phoning me 15 times.

I don’t know how many more times I need to say it: “I DO NOT, REPEAT FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, NOT, NEED CAR INSURANCE.”

I also don’t want to sell my house, I don’t need financial help (and certainly not from anyone who just calls me!) and I’m perfectly happy without a lottery of any kind. In fact, if I had my way I’d ban all forms of gambling.

But up until very recently my WhatsApp account has been mine. If my phone number was for other people, WhatsApp was for me.

Every single piece of communication was for my benefit (with the exception of groups where everyone says “Happy Birthday” to everyone else).

It made WhatsApp one of the few things in this life with virtually no drawbacks.

Jamie Oliver ruined all of that. It was Checkers who felt they could put a video of the world’s most irritating cheeky chappie in my WhatsApp. I was subjected to a video of him hitting a drum set (I had other productive thoughts for the drum sticks).

What made it worse was that it started with him saying my name.

If AI r