Owning a dog wasn't like I'd imagined

Bruce Cherry and Steady have had a complicated relationship from the start. (Supplied: Mark Brown)

I recognised early on that there was a lot of him in me, which played a role in my decision against ever having children — or until a few years ago, ever having a pet.

I knew I'd be a strict, over-anxious, quick-tempered carer and I didn't want that for myself or anyone else.

Puppies, it turns out, should really just be for Christmas and are otherwise best enjoyed as guest stars belonging to somebody else.

Puppy parenting is life-changing, and to say I didn't like all of the changes is an understatement.

I was extremely distressed by the cognitive dissonance between my expectations of dog ownership and the reality.

Bruce says he was trapped in the idea that he needed to get things right with Steady all the time. (Supplied: Mark Brown)

I had pictured relaxing walks, lots of playing, tired puppy snuggles. I neglected to give much thought to whether my personality would slot into a dog's lifestyle.

I was a helicopter dog dad. I was terrified of what he might consume that could hurt him.

Tea-tree products disappeared from our home, chocolate had to be monitored, even avocado might make him seriously ill (imagine the added distress for a millennial whose entire house deposit has been spent on these).

What are the big lessons you've learnt since owning a pet? Share with us here.

I fretted that I was doing things wrong — messing up his training, messing up our bonding by being too strict, by doing the doggy version of controlled crying.

Bruce loves Steady, but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. (Supplied: Mark Brown)

I resented how much of my time and attention he demanded, never being able to switch off the part of my brain monitoring his whereabouts, water or toileting.

I knew I was messing up crate training, but it was bigger than that — I was messing up having a dog by setting expectations for the both of us that were not reasonable.

And it hadn't occurred to me that this might happen: I wasn't feeling the love, not beyond the normal appeal of a very cute baby animal.

I wanted heart explosions of literal puppy love, but my heart was busily carrying the load of my anxiety and instead I was devastated by my lack of ability to fall in love with this beautiful animal.

I felt confirmed in my belief held since childhood that I would not make a suitable parent.

I was completely trapped in the idea that both Steady and I needed to get things right all the time.

A friend of mine went through a similar difficult patch when she got a puppy.

A single