The people who say no to being a parent, and have very happy lives

Australia’s fertility rate is at a record low, putting those who have made the personal choice to be childfree in the centre of a political battleground whether they like it or not.

A few months ago, Bianka Ismailovski was seated at what would have been a forgettable dinner party in Melbourne had she not spent 40 minutes being called selfish by a table of people she had just met.

“It was just so crazy,” says the 36-year-old comedian and writer. “So crazy and rude.”

At issue was a choice Ismailovski had made more than five years prior, following the breakdown of her marriage.

“It was the first decision I’d made where my whole body relaxed and was like, ‘Yeah, actually, that isn’t something that I want,’” she says.

“If I was a man, I would have a kid tomorrow ... but as a woman, it’s too much pressure on me specifically. It’s such a strain on my body ... on everything, on my identity. It’s not something I’m interested in. Sorry.”

“WE ARE THE MAJORITY,” a jubilant Abigail Porter exclaimed in a video shared to TikTok in March.

The American reproductive rights advocate – whose global notoriety stems from keeping a public list of reasons why women shouldn’t have children – was celebrating the statistic that 52 per cent of women aged 20 to 39 in the United States “are childfree”. The soundtrack was Beethoven’s Ode to Joy.

“The men are going to crash out about this because they are so worried about the birth rate, and let me be clear: I don’t care! ... I couldn’t be happier that women are choosing themselves.”

The sentiment is supported by more than 1.5 million likes, but the reality is more complicated than the soundbite.

While the United States’ fertility rate is at a record low – 1.6 births per woman, below the 2.1 replacement rate – the statistic Porter cited encompasses women who are childfree (no children by choice), childless (unable to have children despite wanting them), and those who are yet to give birth.

Australia’s fertility rate is lower than the US. It fell in October to 1.48 births per woman, the lowest since records began in 1921. That cannot be blamed solely on people without children.

“The standard family group of people that form their relationships in their 20s, and you may have expected them three decades ago to have three to four children, they are now having one to two children,” says Professor Amanda Davies, a social scientist and demographer at the University of Western Australia.

“That group is an absolute driver of change … they just cannot afford to have the size of family that they would wish to have.”

But the cohort o