Don’t make this mistake because of marriage

He is one of the workmen whose services I engaged. At a point, I noticed that he was travelling to his village quite often, so I asked him what was going on. He told me that his father had suffered a stroke. After empathising with him, I asked how his mother was coping with the burden of being a caregiver to her ailing husband. He told me that his mother had been away since November 2025 because her daughter had a baby. Meaning that she has not set eyes on her husband since his health crisis began. When I asked who was taking care of his father, he told me that his aunt, his father’s younger sister, had become his caregiver, alongside another man in their community who is paid to give him a daily bath and massage. His story reminded me of another one I heard some time ago. The lady who assisted us with house cleaning had a second job that involved caregiving and cooking. According to her, the person she was caring for was a man in his sixties who had suffered major paralysis following a stroke. His other caregiver was his younger brother, who was based in Europe. As the story continued, I asked, “What about his wife and children?” She told me that she only heard that he had a wife and children, but she had neither seen them visit nor heard them call him. When stories like these come up, most people are quick to place the blame squarely on how badly the man must have treated his wife and children when all was well with him. I often hear people say that many women harbour a “payback” intention for a husband who did not treat them well before becoming vulnerable and helpless. And I struggle to understand how someone who regularly goes to God in prayer can approach that throne of mercy while still nursing unpleasant thoughts against a spouse they hope will someday end up at their mercy. What if you get to that valley of vulnerability before your spouse? Life hardly goes according to our whims. What does a “clean heart”, which is what matters most to God, mean to you? If a spouse has continued to treat you in ways you find unforgivable, why not move away and maintain a clean heart? If you choose to remain in that setting, then forgiveness becomes necessary so that your heart remains untainted before God. Related News Prolonged emotional pain can undermine your marital stability Fame makes relationships more difficult — Leo Dasilva “Leave to cleave” is not helping our marriages If God calls you home first, it is the content of your heart that He will judge you by, not who did what to you. May it never be a painful experience in the hands of a spouse that teach