Rwanda: 'Don't You Remember Me?' - the Gaslighting Trick Scammers Use

It is almost instinctive that when someone approaches you with a warm smile, you assume you know them. You smile back, exchange greetings, and search your memory for a name or face that fits, yet a sense of uncertainty remains.

It is in that brief moment of hesitation that they strike, taking advantage of your politeness, confusion, and the human tendency to trust familiarity.

Jimmy Muhima thought he was helping someone he knew. The businessman was walking through the corridors of CHIC Building in downtown Kigali when a man approached him and struck up a warm conversation.

The stranger spoke confidently, claiming Muhima's and his families had known each other for years. "He said we knew each other from way back through family links," Muhima recalls.

As they chatted, the neatly dressed young man explained that he was preparing to leave Rwanda for further studies in Canada. He said he had been shopping for items for his departure but had run short of money, and needed one last item: a Bible.

"The story sounded so real and believable," recalls Muhima. Moved by the request, he handed over Rwf12,000, reasoning that few would refuse to help a young man going abroad.

The incident might have faded from memory had Muhima not encountered the same man two months later. While moving through town, he came face-to-face with him again. This time, the stranger repeated the same introduction, once more claiming family connections.

"As soon as I busted him, he took off," Muhima recalls, adding that he has since seen him several times around town, including at events and different locations.

Muhima's experience is not isolated. Across Kigali's busy commercial centres, shopping malls, and markets, residents report being approached by strangers who purport to be known to them.

Some pose as former classmates, distant relatives, old colleagues, or family friends. Others gradually build trust by becoming familiar faces before requesting money, goods, or assistance.

These encounters are typically brief and convincing, but for many victims they end with the realization that the relationship was entirely fabricated.

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Emmanuel Murenzi Junior had a similar encounter took place in downtown Kigali.

A well-dressed man approached him with a smile and began speaking freely as though they had known each other for years. "Don't you remember me?" the stranger asked. Murenzi, aware of how awkward it can be to deny knowing someone who appears to recognise you, engaged cautiously while trying to place him.

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