‘I know that I’m gay’: Former NRL enforcer Kane Evans comes out in emotional interview

Former NRL enforcer and Fijian international Kane Evans has detailed his battles with alcohol, substance addiction and suicidal thoughts while wrestling with his sexuality in an emotional interview aired on Channel Nine’s 100% Footy on Monday night.

The 34-year-old is just the second male player to publicly come out as gay in professional Australian rugby league, and the first to do so since pioneering former NSW Origin and Kangaroos star Ian Roberts 31 years ago.

Evans, who rose to prominence as a hard-hitting Roosters forward in 2014, said denying his sexuality from the age of 15 had weighed on him so much that, once his NRL and Super League career ended, he made taking his own life a personal goal as he spiralled into addiction.

Instances where people knew of his sexuality and threatened to “blackmail me” and “out me” also took their toll before the Rugby League Players Association helped get him into a rehabilitation facility and turn his life around.

“I had three goals in life,” Evans told Channel Nine’s James Bracey as he detailed his mental health struggles.

“And it was; to play NRL. To buy my parents a house, and then I wanted to top myself, because I was living in denial from a young age.

“I know that. I know that I’m gay. But I went down every other avenue to build up these walls. To be someone, to escape who I am.

Asked how it felt to say that out loud, Evans replied: “I still can’t believe that I’m here talking to you.

“This is definitely my worst nightmare. But I know if I surrender, its just going to be a start to a new life. I’ve been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old. And it’s not sustainable.

“I was sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass away so I didn’t have to come to this [conversation].

“But I know that there’s people who are struggling with the same struggle that I’ve gone through. So I’m very blessed that I can come here and talk to you, and be able to save a life or two.”

Evans’ decision to come out publicly follows a stint in rehabilitation and more than four months of sobriety, which he celebrated on social media in May.

The help of former Panthers premiership-winner Joe Galuvao, now manager with the RLPA’s past players and transition program, proved pivotal in Evans’ turnaround as Galuvao tracked him down while he was sleeping rough in Sydney parks.

“I started questioning; ‘Maybe death isn’t the plan for me yet. Maybe I do deserve to go and get help’,” Evans said after Galuvao had told him he deserved a “good life”.

“I’ve carried [hiding my sexuality] around my whole life. I’m